My Fancy Mom's Favorite Hostess Gifts

Mom has put a lot of thought into this! There's even a handy infographic.

My Fancy Mom is back - literally back, she’s visiting me this week - but for the purposes of this newsletter, she’s put together a list of her go-to’s for hostess gifts, just in time for couch-surfing and freeloading summer! I mean, not really, but kind of. We’re staying with friends later this summer, we have friends coming to stay with us, everyone is staying with everyone, and what happens if you’re going to someone’s house who is a) fancy, b) stylish, and c) of a certain age? You ask my Fancy Mom what to bring.

If you’re new to Earl Earl, my mom is all of those things. She has exquisite taste, a gorgeous home, and is of a certain age. She pops in regularly here to share her taste and her knowledge - like, how to make the most comfortable bed in the world, how to care for your towels, what to pack for a two week trip to Japan, etc etc. and now she’s back.

Here she is! This one is GOOD and FUNNY! Mom!!!!!

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Host gifts were not a thing I thought much about until a few years ago when I arrived at a friend’s fancy summer home on the coast of Maine for a multi-day stay. (By fancy, I mean the host had hired a chef for the summer and dinner every night was formal. There were multiple housekeepers in a gorgeous ocean home. The whole stunning package.) Upon arrival, I presented a big bag of unshucked fresh corn that I had proudly scored at an idyllic roadside farmstand on the way there. I love corn. I handed it off to the kitchen crew and never saw that corn again for the next 4 days. Cringe.

I’ve since learned that when I have a coveted invitation and want to reciprocate somehow, it can require a bit of strategy ahead of time. I believe the perfect hostess gift:

• Delights the hostess or provides entertainment and delight for the other guests

• Feels personal

• Is appropriate for the length of time (3 nights requires a grander “thank you” than one meal)

• Is appropriate for the level of formality

• Can be set down the minute you enter the host’s home without requiring the host to do anything at all [ED NOTE: how genius is this tip!!!!! nobody wants to fuck around with flowers when you’re worried about burning dinner!]

• Has a note attached so the host knows where your gift came from

Considerations:

Avoid the easy route which is to grab a bottle of wine on the way out the door. Though it’s useful to have an extra bottle of wine, you will not be remembered for this. Also avoid flowers. Even if they are in a vase. They present the problem: where to put them? Then they die. Personally, I also avoid scented candles. We can do better.

Never assume that just because your host seems to “have everything” that they won’t appreciate a token of your appreciation. They still appreciate a tangible gesture of thanks.

Your host will fall into one of the quadrants below: