64 Comments

"I’m sorry, Your Honor. This whole trial could have been an email." I feel like this sums up 80 percent of adulting. So great! Thank you!

Expand full comment

This is fantastic. As a Public Defender I desperately wish the jurors could opt to make daily journals that would be shared with counsel at the end. Did you hate my suit? What about my voice? You’d rather go have drinks with me and not the prosecutor right?

Expand full comment

Oh my god I would have loved to do that! I stayed after the trial and talked to the lawyers. I'm writing more about the whole experience. Not sure what it'll turn into yet, but it was so fascinating.

Expand full comment

Literally laughed out loud at my desk at this! A very juxtaposing topic but have literally never read anything remotely similar. I want Charlotte to narrate everyday wardrobe life!

Expand full comment

Agreed! I have so many other life events that I'd like Charlotte to tackle.

Expand full comment

The weekly supermarket shop, your partners family gatherings…

Expand full comment

immediately also lol'd at this "The highlight of the day is when the prosecutor makes Hot Cop show us some gang signs with his fingers and the defendant laughs out loud at him."

Incredible. Also not to sound a potential future defendant, but Charlotte, your skin is gorgeous!

Expand full comment

Love the camel coat and orange sneakers!!!

Expand full comment

I was on a murder jury in 2012 and our daily entertainment was the district attorney's shoes. She was always very stylish though her clothes stayed relatively conservative. It was clear she used her shoes as a way to have little pop of "yes I'm still fun even though I'm a serious attorney representing the people of Alameda County in a court of law."

Expand full comment

Same! Ours wore super high patent leather heels in a variety of colors. All business up top and then... bam!

Expand full comment

this may have been the best substack i have since the new year! thank you

Expand full comment

I lost it on day 10 the bra was off by 1:30🤣🤣

Expand full comment

“I rub the milk into the fleece.”

I feel seen.

Expand full comment

So funny! Loved the decriptions of all of this which take me back - I served on a big deal robbery, rape, murder trial as the first alternate decades ago and it is very eye opening and also such a parallel universe. It was also super long...the good/bad news is, I get out of jury duty every time I am called now due to my "time served".

Expand full comment

This was so fucking funny! Thanks for the guest appearance.

Expand full comment

But where is that blazer from? It looks comfy.

Expand full comment

It's so comfy! It's a sweatshirt blazer from Frank and Eileen.

Expand full comment

I have the same one! Magic powers way less potent though

Expand full comment

What to wear if you are a juror, is something everyone should read. Who knew wearing pj’s to court is ‘in’?

The celebrities who tell us what to wear, when, forgot this side of life. I see a book coming, and I need to know if my ‘colors’ are correct for juror duty. Can you call in ‘not ready for my close up’?

Expand full comment

So entertaining! I hope you get a romance or a poem (or a porn poem!) from the experience. I’m giggling already!

Expand full comment

I'm working on it :)

Expand full comment

Recent national news has put me in a place where I so desperately needed to read this now. Thank you for your keen courtroom observations, unique business casual style, and for writing and sharing this.

Expand full comment

And thank you- I so need this kind of feedback as well ❤️

Expand full comment

I was recently summoned to the same courthouse and found it just as amusing of an experience.

Expand full comment