What I mean when I say I'm spiraling

Hi friends, here we are. Right here. Which is…. for me a really new place. We’re in our newer rental in LA, we’ve moved so many times in the past two years—first escaping New York in March 2020 and staying my mom’s guest house for six months, then to our own rental in Austin, then every house we stayed in on the drive out to LA (three), then Malibu for two weeks, and now here in LA proper. I’ve been very cool, cool, cool the whole time, but getting to this last house threw me, and I was surprised because the two weeks before I felt so good.

My mom always reminds me that moving is the second most stressful thing that can happen to a person (even when it’s to a fun place), second behind the death of a loved one, and you wouldn’t think you’d need permission to feel stressed, but I do. I feel like I’m not allowed to make it a real thing until someone else validates it. Every time I talk about having anxiety, I have to first brush it off saying, like every other millennial woman, I have anx…