What To Wear When You Feel Weird And It's Raining - 3 Good Outfits
It eventually stopped raining.
It’s been raining in LA, nonstop, since the beginning of the year. At first it was charming, then I heard it’s actually drowning the trees here - they’re not equipped for so much water - and then and then. And then my kids turned a year older. And then I turned a year older, and I cried a little, feeling sorry for myself for being tired. Stupid. And not in a sexy way.
I was thinking about “get out of your comfort zone” and “think outside the box”. Push beyond your boundaries, do something scary, wear something unfamiliar. But honestly, there’s a lot to be said for just not. At all. Burying your head in your kids damp post-bath hair, staying home and putting on something soft. Sometimes. Especially when it’s gloomy out.
I’ve wanted to synthesize something coherent about the recent collections, I’ve wanted to put in to words the feeling of being seen (Rachel did it for me), but then… it was raining, so I rubbed my face against my daughter’s cheeks and put on something soft. The nugget from that article is this: What made Miu Miu’s show so spectacular is that it showed exactly what a designer can do in a moment like this: not tell us how to be or look better, but simply show us ourselves.
When I first started writing this, a little over two years ago (weird) it was more about my inner guts than about things. Then I felt a little overexposed, so I made it about the things. Then I started to worry that it’s becoming something else just pushing more and more stuff on people who don’t need more stuff, and isn’t actually a reflection of how I live or the kind of lifestyle I value. I’m trying to show myself without showing myself? I need my space, but I need attention too.
I don’t think I’m alone in feeling like I’m in a constant state of self-audit. Fact checking how “authentically me” you are until you become a word you’ve said too many times in a row and start to lose meaning. Sometimes you just feel like shit and wonder if you’re a shitty person, and I guess that is the human experience.
I’m Miley on that wrecking ball, a pendulum going back and forth between I really don’t want to and I’m dying to. To what is the question.
I think I’m just tired, and still a little sad-sappy from my birthday. AND THE FUCKING RAIN! IN LA! When I actually write in these letters, I don’t usually have a clear idea of what I’m trying to say, I just say, and say. But! As soon as I wrote that in my head I heard but you say you self-audit? See what I mean? Fact checking! So THIS is what I’m thinking about, THESE are the pitter patterings of my late 30s. I’m just a stupid woman.
It’s wet out when it’s meant to be sunny, I feel weird. More about this weird feeling in this weekend’s paid post, which tackles SALE SHOPPING and the PANIC FEELING of MISSING OUT.
Meanwhile, here’s I’m wearing to feel comfortable. It’s a little boring, but you know, I felt pretty good in this stuff. It can’t always be ~styling hacks~ and !tricks!, sometimes it’s just nicely made clothes that you wear all the time that look fine, but make you feel better - whether better means more confident, sexier, stupider, or just like your most basic needs are being met. You know?
#1 Soft Pants
What I wore to pick up some prescriptions after working from bed all morning/day when it was pouring. The effort here is in the leather jacket, and the fact that I tucked my really, really filthy sweater into my sweatpants. These are my “nice” sweatpants - they’re slim cut, incredibly soft, and honestly sort of flattering.
1. This is the jacket I really want - I tried it on during market in Paris and it’s perfect. Not too biker, not too vintage, not too, just perfect. Co, $2,295
2. A swingy shirt leather jacket! So chic. Looks better on. Me + Em, $1,050
3. Surprise! Another good thing from Banana Republic! When did it get good! Banana Republic Factory, $550
4. The sweat pants. Not too thick. Stateside, $108
5. I also like these! They look vintage and not too baggy. Her butt looks cute! Gap, $55
6. The cotton roll neck sweater to end all. I wear it at least every other day. J.Crew, $98
7. THE ONLY UNDERWEAR! EVER! Oddobody, $24
8. Beloved New Balance sneaker. I choo-choo-choose you. New Balance, $85
9. But! I also love these - very low profile and minimal, but vintagey. Nike, $95
#2 Actual Rain Gear
I do own an actual rain coat - and it’s fabulous. It’s by Kassl, a brand I love, and it’s dramatic and navy and made of waxed cotton. I wore it this week and tried to make a little more of an effort - I put on a pair of new Bottega pants I love, and tossed on a white tee, and my go-to rain shoes: creepers. I love creepers for rain because the platform keeps your hems dry, and I get mine on Amazon for like $40 so it’s ok if they get a little trashed in the rain.
1. The jacket! Very dramatic!!! I got mine at the Barney’s closing sale :( Kassl, $1,023
2. And one from Cos - super similar, but a more classic shape. Less stiff too! Cos, $250
3. I am obsessed with this men’s anorak from J.Crew, it would be so great with this outfit. J.Crew, $138
4. The pants! I included two pictures so you can see the gorgeous curved hems. Look here too - they’re so excellent. Worth the splurge. Bottega Veneta, $1,150
5. And here - a cutie pie little kick flare version. Wolford, $315
6. My all time favorite go-to tee - it’s mid-way between light and heavy weight, and has a nice drape but isn’t clingy. It’s just perfect. Kotn, $38
7. There’s only one pair of these left, and god I wish I was the right size for them. GO GO GO CREEPER MARY JANES! Commes des Garçons, $424
8. And here, a classic pair of Clark’s Wallabees. One of the chicest shoes of all time. They also have a platform crepe sole, and are less directional than straight-up creepers. Clark’s, $160
9. Then my creepers. Mine are black and white, but if I could do it all again I think I’d get the solid black pair. I love these so much. Creepers, $44
#3 Cheering My Ass Up
Then I went to a long, really great yoga class. I had a nice text exchange with some mom friends - I sent them this song as my mom rock anthem, and one of them wrote this back: “I was driving to work this morning and listened to the song you sent and felt a lot of emotions. It somehow reminded me of CS Lewis' quote: ‘I sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief’” And just…fuck. Man. My heart cracked open. To feel seen by a friend like that - a gift. So then I went into my wardrobe and planned an outfit to wear out to dinner with another really good, really old friend.
I wanted to wear something I own but don’t really think is me, that I almost never wear, but that makes me feel like a hot bitch. So I put on my most essential, favorite polo neck sweater - a real grounding piece - and put on one of the best things I own, a vintage Junya army tulle skirt. I like this whole look because it’s silly, but doesn’t feel costumey or over the top. I thought the army boots with it would feel too literal, but they actually tie this all together really nicely and make it work in the real world.
1. A very good navy polo neck sweater! This is the kind of thing that forms the foundation of my style and wardrobe. I almost can’t get dressed without it. Officine Generale, $405
2. Another great version - this one with a zip! This is a wool/cotton blend, and can almost sub in for a coat in the winter. Layer it over a tank and if you get hot, toss it over your shoulders preppy 80s style! Cos, $135
3. For a lighter option, I love this cotton men’s rugby shirt. It serves the same purpose, but isn’t nearly as warm. J.Crew, $98
4. There’s only one of these! A Junya army tulle skirt. It is a FIND!!! I also love this resale one that’s more sleeping bag material than tulle. So cool. Junya Watanabe, $340
5. A very simple, very cool army skirt. Gives me dELiA*s vibes. Reformation, $148
6. And again! I love that this one is a bit more subtle, not as literally ARMY. Wardobe.NYC, $468
7. And Sacai! Very much in the same world as Junya. So cool. Sacai, $825
8. A very, very good, very classic combat boot. Stuart Weitzman, $318
9. And if you were to dress this up? A super simple heel - again, another foundational item! Theory, $355
10. Finally - for spring, a mega minimalist sandal. Super simple, very clean, very pretty! Emme Parsons, $425
And there we have it! Let’s all try to feel good!
Love, your friend,
Laurel