I thought last week was hectic, but this time around I’m….planning my kid’s birthday party.
Who knew the seventh circle of hell was trying to organize a birthday part for a 5 year old? Who knew the biggest trigger for my stress levels would be TRYING TO SECURE THE DINOSAUR PERFORMER. We go above and beyond and totally overboard and drown. But hopefully he loves it. I sure love him.
On top of it, work is taking off - which is EXACTLY what you want when you’re on your own. Things and people and projects are coming out of the woodwork and it feels so great. I shot something really gorgeous for ByGeorge this week, and I’m just so totally HAP-PEE, and I can’t wait to share that project with the world. Freelance is fantastic, yall. Here I am if you need me.
But I was thinking about is why it’s so painful to watch your kids get older. I have a lot of feelings about my baby turning 5, and of course, he’s so cute and squishy and was an adorable toddler, but he’s at the age where he just gets better and better every year, and more and more in control of his emotions and better able to communicate what he needs/wants/hates. It’s getting easier, so why the sads? For me, I think it’s partly like, if he’s 5, then what am I? Am I really that far from the me I was before I was Mom? It’s somehow a more tangible marker of aging than my own birthday, watching my kids grow up. And yeah, they’re 3 and 5, so both still young, and I feel/act/look relatively young, or at least I feel/act/look comfortable with myself, so again, why the sads? The collective feminine we seem to be on to something lately about accepting aging. Inviting the idea to come over for a drink, at least. I definitely feel it - I’m turning 37 in two weeks and I’ve never felt hotter or cooler or better.
I was also running around with my friend/coworker/soulmate this week in LA, and she’s nearly 10 years younger than I am. I was totally struck by how much she has her shit together and when I was 25-28 I was so lost and weird and humiliated to just be a woman alive. Deeply embarrassed by everything I did and said. It was such a hard time. And then now I think, just like Ellis is getting cooler and more fun, I too am like a fine wine, getting cooler, funnier, smarter, zippier, sexier, more powerful, less dipshitty every year, and isn’t that something?
I kind of thought that could be an interesting thing to look at/think about - asking interesting women when the hardest year of their life was - not for external reasons or anything bad that happened - just like, when did you feel the least like you?
Now that I’m sitting here thinking about it (by here I mean on the floor outside my kids’ bedrooms in the dark while they fall asleep because I allowed Phoebe to nap for 45 minutes on my chest today and now she won’t fucking stop talking and it made Ellis so frustrated he started yelling at her and I had to come and police them), I think really it’s mortality for me more than getting older. When I had Ellis I became so aware of my mortality, his, how fragile life is, and how precious it is. His birthday, hers (which is next week, we’re all three Pisces), and mine, literally - like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.
So that’s about it - I’m taking a rest this week kind of and doing a quickie roundup of all the things I’ve posted about/recommended the most since I started this letter. These are the all stars, baby. I love you!
And oh! I think next weekend we’re going to have my MOM as the guest editor for my paid letter. This is her bathroom - she knows how to LIVE and she has the most comfortable bed setup I’ve ever experienced anywhere (more of her home here, and here, and here, and here, and here). She’s going to teach me/us how to get the softest best bed, and then how to care for it. Subscribe here.
Ok so here - my favorite things / the things I recommend the most. But I forgot one thing! This perfect navy blazer. I think I’ve put it in almost every letter, I don’t know how I forgot it!
White Shirts
I love a white shirt. It’s kind of the ultimate foundational building block for my style, and these are the ones I write about the most.
1. This one is by Maria McManus, she’s one of my favorite designers, and she makes everything as sustainably as possible. The buttons are made from palm nuts. The fabric is so beautiful, the cut is incredible - it’s a perfect special shirt. Maria McManus, $440
2. The all around winner - this J.Crew Men’s shirt. I like the classic fit, and I like a large or XL so that it’s really oversized. It’s simply the best. J.Crew, $90
3. Another I love, this one is slightly heavier weight - more Oxford than smooth poplin. I love the big pocket, the back is nice and roomy, but the arms are kind of slim. It’s a great cut. AYR, $135
Pants
I am pants mom! I love pants! I don’t feel right in a dress, so here are my favorite pants.
1. I have posted these Wrangler jeans at least 75 times, they’re my all time favorite jeans. I like the solid indigo, like these. Zero stretch, and you can order them by waist size and inseam, so they’re a more custom fit. I have two pairs - one that I was, the other that is more pristine. They’re PERFECT. Wrangler, $49
2. My other favorite jeans - mine have holes in the knees, but it’s nice to have one pair that’s more fitted and another that’s loose. These also have no stretch. I don’t love a stretchy jean. Re/Done, $275
3. I’ve also used these in a lot of roundups - a very simple, clean, flattering pleat-front trouser! A classic! Raey, $210
4. Ok, these are cost/wear the best value of my life - despite being a $550 pair of leggings. They’re scuba material and the front slit makes them extra special and sleek and fancy. I wore these through both pregnancies and they’re not all stretched out and weird after pregnancies. I can’t really get dressed without them, and I can’t recommend them highly enough. They look great with a big sweatshirt, sweater, t shirt, or dressed up with a blazer and something fun on top. The Row, $550
5. Another star in the pants world - High Sport! There’s a ton of hype about these pants and they are every bit as great as people say. The weight is wonderful, colors are sophisticated, and the fit is gorgeous. They can be casual or fancy - they’re just so great. High Sport, $860
Sweaters & Sweatshirts
All of these are navy, ha! I have a type!
1. The best cotton sweater - this is men’s, and it has such a great weight. If you’re into the 90s J.Crew look, this is your sweater - and it’s 25% off with a code! J.Crew, $90
2. I wear a polo knit almost every day lately, such a classic look and good with a button down, with a tee, or with nothing underneath. I love this one, it’s not too thick or huge, but will be warm. Closed, $290
3. A navy sweater vest! A must-have in my book, I wear mine at least once a week. I wear it over other shirts or on its own and I love mine. J.Crew, $138
4. I also put this silly sweatshirt in almost every letter. It’s perfectly washed and worn-in looking, and just fits like a dream. It’s the sweatshirt you wish your dad had so you could steal it. Comfort Colors, $37
Shoes
I’m a flats gal, and I’m also a sort of masculine shoe gal. Week after week, these are my favorites. In my opinion, this is a pretty complete shoe wardrobe - maybe I’d add in a Birkenstock and a simple heel, but otherwise this is complete.
1. Beloved, perfect, treasured, classic loafers! When I was an accessories editor back in the day and a stylist wanted loafers, we’d call in loafers from every possible source - very very high end, and very very affordable. Bass Weejuns always got picked. Bass Weejuns, $175
2. The most classic, simple sneaker. They go with absolutely everything! New Balance, $85
3. The cutest clogs - I love that they’re black wood with black uppers, rather than brown wood. These are the perfect simple dressy clog. Aeyde, $305
4. And then an excellent Mary Jane. I love that this one is SUPER FLAT. No heel. Just flat. The toe box is also sort of squared off, it’s so chic. The Row, $790
The Extras
Accessories and jewelry I love and find myself posting over and over….
1. My favorite bag! The best bag! An Old Céline twisted cabas! Fits everything, looks GREAT, you can’t go wrong! More here. Céline, $848
2. My little Dorsey necklace is another favorite - it’s made with lab-grown sapphires, looks insanely chic, and kind of updates basically anything you wear. I love it with my navy sweatshirt. I wear the 16” version. Dorsey, $600
3. Just an excellent, classic, no frills pair of black sunglasses that aren’t too big, aren’t too trendy, look great with everything, and are super well-made. These are more or less the only style I wear, I have two pairs because I love them so much. Celine, $480
4. And then here, an excellent knock around tote. Again, when I was an editor back in the day all the fanciest editors carried one of these LL Bean totes because they look great, add a nice little random element but aren’t too looky looky, and they’re indestructible. What more could you want! LL Bean, $45
5. And then! My wear every day perfect earrings from Sherman Field. I also post these all the time, they’ve done wonders for making me look and feel pulled together. Obviously I’m a fan of all things Sherman Field, but I’m really rarely without these. Sherman Field, $1,880
That’s it! The most posted links!
My favorite things! Kinda boring, but that’s OK too.
Love, your friend,
Laurel
Hi Laurel. Thanks for your newsletter, I’m loving it. I got the jcrew sweater vest and love it on its own but can’t figure out what to layer it with.. Do you have any ideas or pics for inspiration?
Hi Laurel! I'm Maria, a stylist currently living in San Diego. I recently subscribed to your newsletter, so I'm just starting to get to know you jiji.
I'm 44 years old and not a mother yet, but I still felt seen in your recent newsletter. You mentioned a few things that resonated with me. Some of the best years of my life were from 2010 - 2014. I was in my early thirties. I struggled a bit in the second half of my thirties. Those were my least favorite years. Even though that was the time I met my now husband. Finding a partner doesn't specifically make you happy. Now that I'm reaching my mid-forties, things are picking up again. I'm starting to feel more confident with myself.
I also became aware of my mortality when my son was born. He passed away minutes after being born. He was born with Trysome 18. It's interesting how before that event, I never really considered my mortality; dying was something far away, but now I think about it all the time, which is good because it has forced me to make lifestyle changes and appreciate life more. Like, I only live once mentality and should do what I love.
I look forward to more newsletters from you!