Hi from Laurel

Oh boy, this is a mom thing. It's also a thing about this week, two weeks ago, last year, the last four years - I just don't know how to say it yet. I'm hoping it will come to me.

For most of my life I've been able to let an idea rattle around in my brain for a day or two, and then like magic, a fully formed sentence or even a whole essay would pop into my head. The whole delightful little thing could bubble up with basically no effort.

Not to toot horns over here, but it felt pretty good. And I felt good! My mind just ~did its thing~ and spat out something if not funny and true, then at least coherent. I basked in an ability to set to words indescribable feelings—Sunday sunset nostalgia was my specialty—and truly, it was effortless.

But then.

After I had my first kid, in 2018, I couldn't do it anymore. I'd try and pin down an idea but it was like trying to catch a fleck of dirt out of my son's bathwater. I'd scoop and scoop but couldn't ever just grab the fucking thing.


It came bac…