Growing up, I witnessed my mom as a hostess many, many times. She has a real elegance and effortlessness when she’s hosting, and I’ve seen her handle a lot of social situations that would absolutely send me into a spiral with grace. When we were in Salt Spring together I started asking her for some advice about throwing parties—more as a hypothetical than for any practical purpose (when I have people over it’s more like…come on over, throw your kids in the pool and we’ll order pizza). Her answers were SO GOOD.
I wrote out a list of questions for her, and if this is helpful/useful, she’ll answer them all. But for now, we’re starting at the top of the list, which is kind of funny for me because it’s about…drinking too much. Her advice is so generous and non-judgemental and tender, it’s just really really excellent. So here she is, my fancy mom!!!
If you enjoy entertaining, sooner or later you will likely be challenged by a number of very sticky situations that can be real stumpers for a host. I’m talking about things such as:
Guests who drink too much and either fall down, pass out or get sick
Couples who engage in a spat during dinner in front of everyone
Guests who don’t eat the food you serve
Guests who dominate the conversation
Guests who will not stop talking about politics
Guests who do not leave when you’d like and stay until it’s far too late
Guests who consistently show up so late that it throws off the timing of dinner
Guests who take pictures of every moment of the gathering, then post them on social media, making other friends feel left out
The list goes on. Some things you can control, and some you simply must deal with in the moment. I’ve had a taste of the entire lot. One thing I know is that most of these situations occur because of a problem people bring to your event. Not because of something you’ve done. Still, you want to deal with these in a way that is kind, gracious and good for everyone.
There is a lot to say here. Therefore, this may become a series of several essays, based on whether there is interest in the subject. Let us know. But for now, let’s focus on the absolute cringiest. Number 1.
Falling down. Passing out. And other mortifying outcomes of being over-served.
You love your party guests or you wouldn’t have them in your home. And when they are in the position of losing control in a way they’ll be embarrassed about tomorrow, then your job is to take care of them as discretely as possible and minimize the disruption for the rest of the guests.
