This letter is supported in-part by At Present.
I’m not going to talk about Fashion Week too much again, because I know very few people honestly care, and I’m self-aware enough to know that the people who DO care read writing on the subject from writers who are both more knowledgable and better at it than I am. I recommend Rachel Tashjian and Lauren Sherman for a well rounded critical and ~business of~ perspective.
What I am prepared to discuss regarding Fashion Week, is what the clothes and the experience of being in it make me feel. And this comes as a tag-along, again, to my post a few weeks ago on Boredom.
What I feel about the clothes lately: yesss. I wasn’t in Milan, but I watched with glee the weirdness at Prada. I mean, everyone loves Prada, but I was struck by the designers’ commitment to making every look distinct from the last in the age of everything else looking the same (I also loved Rachel’s review and commentary on “the algorithm” being essentially a conversational non-starter). I loved that they brought back the iconic shoes of Prada seasons past - you really felt the individualism here, that each girl was a unique character, rather than a piece of a whole and that this girl really wears her clothes! Hooray! And also Bottega of course, you’re going to think I’m trying to woo Rachel, shouting her out so much, but she nailed it with this: “…Wrinkled tailoring, hats that looked like neon lions’ manes and other playful details in the collection were very emotional and silly without being dumb… You will laugh at (or with) these ensembles, of course, but isn’t the point of having foolish amounts of disposable income that you can wear what makes you feel cool, no matter what anyone else thinks?”
Silly but not dumb is something I’ve tried to nail both as a feeling, and as an expression vis a vis styling since I started this letter. That is the joy I seek when getting dressed and obviously something I think about all the fucking time…. (Side note: Foolish amounts of disposable income would be nice too.) But beyond that, the thing that struck me about those shows (and also Moschino, which I LOVE) is the commitment to steadfastly doing your thing. Obviously, those brands have critical and commercial success, but I think that’s because of, not in spite of, their singularity.
And now, what the experience of being in Fashion Week makes me feel.
I’d be lying if I said I felt even 75% confident in what I’m doing 75% of the time. I like to put myself out there, especially now in sobriety (which requires diligent self-reflection), but when I see subscribers dip, or something I’ve put out there not getting the reception I’d hoped for…it is rattling. What should I be doing? I wonder… How can I make MORE PEOPLE like me? As I get confirmations and rejections in almost equal measure for my requests at Paris Fashion Week (see you Saturday!) I feel simultaneously buoyed and deflated. Sometimes I feel like “the smelly girl.” I am not that.
In sobriety, I’ve been working towards total honesty - both with myself, and with the people I engage with. One of the practices is - when I have a resentment, or someone makes me feel weird, asking - what’s my part in it? My part is that I’m seeking validation. I’m viewing these subscribers as validation, invitations as validation, some relationships as validation - and that’s not fair to you, or them, or me. It sends me down a path of how can I change myself to be more likeable? What’s wrong with me? When really the truth is - I’ve never tried to be everything to everyone. This has always been a project about my point of view, and when I start looking for outside sources of validation, that all goes to shit.
If I’m going to try and maintain a point of differentiation between the other gals on this platform (which I will say, there’s more than enough room for all of us) then I need to stop looking around, stop taking the occasional lack of external validation (the opposite of validation isn’t necessarily rejection, I’m coming to realize, and it’s not necessarily bad) so personally and understand…. I’d be very unhappy with myself if I were suddenly everyone’s cup of tea. I talk and write a lot about swimming in my own pond, and maybe sometimes I sound like a broken record, but I need these constant reminders of what’s important to me - and this is very important to me. It’s why I respond to Prada, and Bottega, and Christopher John Rogers, and Dries, and Simone Rocha, and Ashish, and Rachel, and Marjon, and Leandra, and Jalil, and Dolly Parton, and Lauren Hutton, and on and on. I like tacky freaky shit, and not everyone does.
I think the best stylists (Carlene Cerf, Heidi Bivens, Ib Kamara, Gabriella Karefa Johnson, Tonne Goodman, Imruh Asha, and on and on) and the best designers (Miuccia, Raf, Dries, Rick Owens, Marc Jacobs, Matthieu, Daniel Roseberry, Simone Rocha, Pierpaolo, Karl, Phoebe, etc etc) have a handle on this idea of - if not making it a little tacky and freaky, at least making it interesting. Not simply…nice. What could be worse! These are the forces ~we~ as a fashion-interested people are responding to most vigorously. It’s no easy feat to remain true to yourself, and evolve, simultaneously - but the ones who manage it are those who really capture our (or, my) imagination. It’s easy to be successful I think, on a commercial level, less so to make something that endures. The harshest criticism, I think, isn’t that something is ugly (we love ugly!), but that it’s boring, and you have to be willing to be pretty vulnerable to not be boring.
And so, onto the clothes, what’s happening in my own little universe, which is trying to delight myself, as always. These are three outfits I felt pretty silly but not dumb in.
THE BANGLE AS NECKLACE
The Jalil mention above was purely coincidental to this letter - I really admire him. He is YOUNG and he is HIMSELF and he is figuring it out and winning over brands more or less from the outside of traditional media in. He’s one of a handful of people inspiring my style and the way I dress, truly! And I’m excited to run around with him in Paris. I’m also excited for his jewelry collaboration with At Present - which is essentially a platform for emerging and established jewelry brands and designers to be discovered by a very passionate audience. The site carries pieces at every imaginable price point, and all of it is somewhat niche and individual. It’s a great resource for discovery - many of the brands they carry are ones I’d never heard of, and I’m relatively in-the-know when it comes to jewelry. Anyway, their capsule collection with Jalil launches today - it consists of earrings, a ring, and bangles, and is inspired by the Victorian tradition of acrostics - every stone stands for a letter, so you can use the stones to spell something. So Jalil’s pieces feature a Blue Sapphire, Opal, Lapis, and Diamond - spelling BOLD. Very subtle, very chic. I love the graphic square of the bangles and the ring, however, I sometimes drive myself a little nuts with jangling bangles on my arm, so I decided (in the spirit of Jalil, who is always playing with expectations) to loop them on a cord and wear them as a necklace instead.
But overall, I like these weird paperbag waist pants I pre-ordered from The Row last fall from the spring collection - I mean, I love them. The paperbaggy-ness of them….I love. I love that they’re traditional, but strange, and they were my biggest investment from the season. They’re not super easy to wear, however, because they come up quite high on the waist, and they’re baggy below the belt, and kind of poufy above. These navy trousers from Cos are easier to style, and they are GORGEOUS, but then these kind of better capture the spirit of mine and are a little easier to swallow. The silky shinyness of the Calle del Mar sweater vest is a nice compliment to the shiny pants, and then the two bangles as a graphic statement on top of it all…it’s nice! And finally, one last weird thing - these cow print clog slippers from Ancient Greek Sandals… I can’t find them on the site, but I can’t take them off! They’re such a statement, and I think they work best with other statementy things - shiny pants and vest, and big oversized pendant bangles.
THE GLITTER BANANA BAG
A while back, I saw this rhinestone banana bag on Puppets & Puppets sale, and I had to have it. I haven’t worn it, but it makes me so stupid happy - I love the rhinestones, I love the banana, I love the yellow, I love all of it.
I also really love this Aligne jacket - there’s something about a blazer that can be worn as a top that I really just LOVE. It has a cincher thing in the back so you can make it a bit more fitted at the waist. The Mango jacket serves a similar purpose and might be better if you’re on shorter side, and it comes in sizes up to 3XL. The J.Crew knit is also a nice alternative for something a little more casual and conventional.
This outfit, honestly, is made up almost entirely of statementy things, which is one of my favorite ways to wear statementy things - with even weirder things! I stared at this skirt for a long time before I pulled the trigger. I’ve always liked circle skirts on me, and I know they’re popular atm, and also there’s the Western thing. I like this one because it’s denim, and circle, TWO trendy things, but it doesn’t feel overly western, or overly novel. And on, it is so swingy and weighty and sexy sexy sexy, I fucking love it. It makes me feel like a mega hot bitch, even in flats. Speaking of flats, with the yellow bag and red jacket, you might think a neutral shoe would be the easiest choice…but you’d be wrong. This look, with a black pump or…yikes…a nude pump….would be so flat. Like, if you’re going to do the thing, do the thing. I’m lucky that I have some weird shoes that are in the same color universe as the other two items, but the shoes - the color, the design, the sparkle, really perfectly tie this silly mess together with a big shiny bow.
A VERY SEXY AND STIFF TOP
God I love Tory Burch. The brand is commercially successful AND inspiring AND has achieved a complete image overhaul to elevate. The clothes are interesting and silly and FUN. Like this top.
It’s hornier than anything you’d ever think of when you think of “Tory Burch” but it’s not, like, raunchy. It’s clever. I love the shine and texture of it, and especially love the structure. It is a lovely, lovely thing.
I’m really not that much of a head-to-toe black wearing gal, I do enjoy color, but when I get something like this, that’s black with an interesting texture and finish, I like to wear it with other black things. if you’re gonna wear a ton of black it has to either be a suit or varied textures. The pants I’m wearing here are Kallmeyer, and they’re PERFECT. Pefect, perfect, perfect. The right slouch, the right weight, they don’t wrinkle, the pockets don’t stick out, they’re true to size - everything about them…perfect. I love the slouch of them with the rigid top. Then! If I wore heels this would look Sexy sexy, but to keep it more in my wheelhouse, and more in my taste and personal style, I like it better with flip flops. A little high and low, hard and soft, you know? And then, of course, this fun bright yellow bag. I don’t like the “pop of color” as a phrase, however I do like the concept in practice, especially here, when it’s bright BRIGHT yellow from Lura. I guess I have a thing for yellow bags, huh?
DON’T LET THE MAN GET YOU DOWN!
Your friend, forever,
Laurel
Someone please convince Kallmeyer to restock those pants! They are perfect and I want a pair so badly!
The first time I found you on Substack, it was your post with the silver sequinned jumpsuit. That's my mental picture of you and that's why I keep coming back ... for the freaky pieces that make my heart flutter.